How to Restore Peace After Getting Angry with Your Kid

The moment you are able to take control of your emotions again, you need to take responsibility for your actions

Video Notes

If you are a parent experiencing anger problems around your kid and want to learn how to achieve calm parenting—watch this video!

The moment you are able to take control of your emotions again, you need to take responsibility for your actions. The wonderful thing about this is that you teach your child how to take responsibility for their own emotions, as well as re-creating peace and calm for yourself and your kid! Break the cycle of anger.

Here’s the plan:

  1. Develop a specific goal for how you want to direct your emotions that you can remind yourself whenever you are lost in anger.
  2. Use a simple mudra practice to interrupt the pattern of anger so you don’t get angry at your child again.
  3. Invite your child to remind you to come back to the power of peace within you.
  4. Remind your child how important it is to take responsibility for your emotions, and thank them when they get you back on track.
  5. If you’re feeling overwhelmed with stress in your life, reach out to friends, family, and counsellers for extra help.

Video Transcript

Welcome, if you’re a parent who’s having some anger issues, who are struggling to keep their calm when they’re interacting with their child, I have some very important things to say to you and some tips and solutions. And they’re not typical solutions. So I know there’s a lot of books out there that you can read on how to deal with anger management. But I want to give you something that’s really simple to do. And it starts with if ever you’re angry with your child, no matter what, you have to take responsibility.

And responsibility means the moment that you’re able to to apologize and to make right. Whatever it is that you’ve done, no matter how your child has behaved, you have to take responsibility for your actions. And the starting point is the moment that you’re able to to simply say, please forgive me for my actions. It doesn’t mean in any way there’s anything wrong with you. I lost control over my emotions and I need to take responsibility. And the wonderful thing about this is you teach your child to begin to take responsibility for their emotions, too.

And I understand how easy it is at times to kind of get into that river of anger. And I’ve experienced it myself, so I know when that happens, it’s really hard to get out of it. You have to do whatever you can to let your child know that you need some time alone just because you’re feeling angry and you need to be able to get into a calm spot, but you’ll come back to them as soon as possible. And when you calm down, come into that place where you you say to them, my emotions are my responsibility.

No matter what you’ve done, I have to be responsible for how I am with you. And you ask for their forgiveness. And then from that place, you let them know where you want to go. And it’s important that you have a sense of where you want to go with them. And you should have a very specific main goal that overrides everything in your life. And if you can have that goal up on your fridge or if you can have that goal up on your wall, it can be a goal that you can share with your family and with your children or with your child.

And that goal should be something along the lines of a value that’s most important to you, like peace or love or connection. And it’s something that you remind yourself with. So if you get lost in anger that you can come back to your vision or your goal for yourself. And if you choose something like peace, you just simply put the word peace up. And it’s a reminder for you to come back to that place of peace within you. And one of the easiest ways to break the cycle of anger is to do a very simple practice called ‘Peace Begins With Me’.

And it’s so simple. It just simply involves you using your hands and your fingers and your words and you simply say, ‘Peace Begins With Me’. And when you do, this is a pattern interrupt in the mind, it refocuses the mind and what’s very important to you, which is peace, and you can even change it up. You can even do love begins with me in connection with your child is important. That connection begins with me, whatever it is that you value the most.

And so then when you practice this within yourself, when you do this to assist you, you can also invite your child to remind you as well. And you can teach your child this practice of ‘Peace Begins With Me’ whenever they’re feeling any type of emotional contraction within themselves or they’re dealing with maybe even the fallout of you being angry with them or you being disappointed with them or can even be something as simple as them having a nightmare or experiencing stress with school and social activities.

And so when you teach them ‘Peace Begins With Me’, you can also have them invite you when you get angry. To remind you, if ever you go into anger and they can simply say, mom or mommy, remember, ‘Peace Begins With Me’ and let them be a remembrance to you to show you and remind you to come back to the power of peace within you. And then from there, what you can do is have a conversation with your child when you’re in a place of peace about how important it is to take responsibility for your emotions.

And one of the most important things, whenever my child reminds me to come home to peace, as I always thank them. It’s a number one thing. So I’ve invited my son, if ever I’m in a state where I’m angry, he has permission to remind me to come home to peace. And the moment he reminds me, the very first thing I say to him is always this. No matter how angry I am, I’ve trained myself in my mind to do this.

Thank you for reminding me to come home to peace. I’m sorry for my actions, I’m sorry for the anger that I’ve allowed, and it not only informs my child that he has this ability and permission and encourages him to continue to do it, but it also informs my own mind of what I expect and what I choose. And the more you do this, the more you thank your child for reminding you to take responsibility for your emotions.

In that moment, you are training your mind to be in that state of peace and your training your mind to quickly return to peace, even if you’ve gone into anger or disappointment or any type of emotional contraction. And as a parent, if you’re struggling with stress in your life, apart from your interactions with your child, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, please get as much help as you possibly can. Reach out to friends, reach out to family, go and get some counseling if you can, and practice ”Peace Begins With Me” in your everyday life.

Whether you’re at work feeling stressed or you’re alone at home, feeling stressed or whatever it is, try that practice to see how it can transform. And there’s many other tips. If you just follow my channel, subscribe to my channel, follow along with the videos, check out whatever it is that I’m posting and do whatever you can to start transforming your life, transforming your emotions, transforming your mind to come into a place of peace within yourself, to create that incredible connection between you and your child.

Because I know ultimately the very core of who you are. You want to connect as peacefully, joyfully and lovingly as you can with your child, not only for your child, but also for yourself and also for the world. So thank you and peace be with you.

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